no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
