How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize