I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
