eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So vagazzling was a success
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
