it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
