Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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