Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
