Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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