So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
