Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
