I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
