If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
