i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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