i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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