suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
