There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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