Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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