never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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