I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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