Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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