And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
