everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
