I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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