So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
