sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
