Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
