I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
