Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
