I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize