I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
