he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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