these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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