just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
