His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
