as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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