You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
