seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
