k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
