I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
