The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
