My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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