Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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