The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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