woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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