just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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