i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
