So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
