I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
