I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
