remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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