theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
