Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
