and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
