Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
