I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize