I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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