I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize