You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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