ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
