So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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