Duck Duck Cougar?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
