He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
