he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
