i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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