I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
40s are totally the cure
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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