no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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